ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
