I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize