i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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