I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
