Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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