Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
