I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
