i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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