Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
