You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize