I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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