it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
