When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
