Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
