I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
