What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
