i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
