I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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