i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
