My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
