Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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