literally had 100 drinks last night.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
