How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
