Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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