i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Your penis caused this!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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