I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
