as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
