so explain again why im purple
no
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
