I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
