I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
