I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
