Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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