I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Too much gin, very little bucket
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
