you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
ok first of all what the fuck
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize