Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
