this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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