The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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