My hand turned me down
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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