Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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