I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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