at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
