He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
