....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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