Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
