how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
