she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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