so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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