I wanna bring you to show and tell
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Send help, water and tortillas.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
