He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
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