Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
