I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Someone signed my nipple.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
