we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
