Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
