Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Randomize
