I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
