I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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