Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
