I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Randomize
