That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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