My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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