What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
