Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
