I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
