Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My life is pants optional.
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