Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
