I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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