The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I am mentally ready for anal.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
