we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize