I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
