Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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