I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
someone owes me an orgasm
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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