So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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