thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
