Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
where are my eyebrows?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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