I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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