from now on my penis is your penis
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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