I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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